


Needle in a Haystack

by DreamAsIRead



Category: Half Life Trilogy - Sally Green
Genre: Alternate Universe, Breakup, I Don't Know Where This Is Going, International Treasure Hunt, M/M, just an idea I had in the middle of exams because I am clearly a lunatic, wherein Gabriel is the treasure
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-11-06
Updated: 2015-11-06
Packaged: 2018-04-30 07:31:18
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 865
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5155457
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/DreamAsIRead/pseuds/DreamAsIRead
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After separation comes regret. And the search for forgiveness begins. But searching will not be easy.</p>
<p>How do you find the needle in a haystack when the needle has the power to transform into just another piece of hay?</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

Nathan doesn’t reply to the waitress’s warmly given invitation for him to ‘Enjoy’ as she deposits his order. He’s too busy watching the boy on the terrace of the café.

Auburn hair, a shade so dark it is almost mahogany, glasses resting easily on his nose as long, thin fingers turn the pages of the book in his hands. There is something so achingly familiar in the way this boy is posed. Nathan can almost see someone else in his place.

Someone with dark brown hair streaked with light. Someone who would have looked up and smiled at him, one side of his lip quirked up in that way that he had. Someone he wishes he’d never said goodbye to.

Eventually, the boy leaves. He passes Nathan’s table on his way out, still flipping through the book as he walks. He does not watch where he is going, and walks into a chair. He stumbles. The book lands next to Nathan’s foot.

They reach for it at the same time. Nathan can only make out one word on the cover, but it’s a familiar one. Kerouac. One of **_his_** favourites. The familiar boy holds his hand out for it. Slowly, Nathan passes it over. Their eyes meet, and the other boy smiles, a quick flash of a smile. And then he is gone, moving so quickly before Nathan can call out to him. Before Nathan can recognise anything.

Nathan does not follow. He stays in his seat. He thinks. He thinks about **_him_**. And then he remembers. **_His_** Gift. He could be anyone. Anywhere. The familiar boy. Or the old lady at the next table. The man just walking past the café on the street outside. All of them, and Nathan would never know. Never be able to tell the difference.

How do you find the needle in a haystack when the needle has the power to transform into just another piece of hay? The answer? You won’t. Not easily, anyway.

It’s another hour and a half before he leaves, the realisation still heavy in his gut. The same waitress from earlier shows him out of the café. “Please come again,” she calls after him. But Nathan isn’t listening. He’s too busy thinking about needles and haystacks and broken promises. He cannot give up. He will find **_him_**.

The waitress watches Nathan until he disappears around the corner. She goes back into the café, into the backroom, removing her apron as she goes.

Gabriel walks out of the backroom, buttoning his coat up. The weather is starting to turn chilly, after all. He walks out the door of the café, the bell over the door chimes merrily as it opens and closes. One last look along the street in the direction Nathan went, to the left of the café.

Gabriel turns right. He walks.


	2. Chapter 2

If Gabriel were the one looking, this would be easy.

If it were Gabriel searching for him, there is no doubt in his mind that the other would find him. If Gabriel were looking, Nathan would only have to wait, and he would be sure to be found. Gabriel knows him, down to his very bones. Nathan Byrn, with all his unknowable secrets, his hidden exterior, guarded by a maze of thorns and patrolled by sentries of stone, immovable and untouchable- Gabriel has had all of that stripped away. With a smile, a laugh, a look in silence, and the sound of his voice as he read from his books. Each moment Nathan spent with him had chipped at his painstakingly built up defences, until every bit of him was shown to Gabriel.

If Gabriel were the one searching, Nathan would be found, no question.

What does Nathan truly know about Gabriel? That he is beautiful. That he likes to read. That he cherishes the people close to him. That he is ruthless, and amazing, and entirely too good for everything Nathan has put him through.

He knows nothing about Gabriel’s past. He never thought to ask. When they were together, it was always easier to ignore the past. Nathan knew how much he himself loathed speaking of his own past, of his mess of a family, of all the people he let down and left behind. He never thought to wonder about Gabriel’s story. People. Places.

The Gabriel that he knows is a boy that seemed to have sprung out of nowhere. A friend, confidante, and lover, all rolled into one.

And it is only now, as he wracks his memories of their time together, in his desperation for a clue, a titbit of information that can lead him to his lost lover that Nathan begins to see just how one-sided their relationship was.

If Gabriel were the one seeking, Nathan would not- he could not hide for long. But Gabriel is not the seeker this time. He is the one that is hidden.

He is the one that is lost. And this time, he will not try to find Nathan. Not after what was said. Not after what was screamed in a moment of frustration and anger and self-loathing.

_Stay away._

Gabriel was never able to refuse Nathan anything.

**Author's Note:**

> Yeah. I have no idea where I'm going with this. But I like the idea, so I hope at least one other person will too.


End file.
